Breastfeeding, oh Lord!

Oh lord, this is the conversation you want me to have?! Well here goes breastfeeding for me was a total and complete train wreck. As a first-time mom, I will admit that at some point I gave up because it honestly just got to be too much.

To say the least, I went into labor two days after finishing up five finals for school. I was going into December break, I needed to pop my baby out and get well enough to get back to school in January. I was left with one month and one week to get it together before school started up again.

I thought I would have this breastfeeding thing down pat. I thought, “this is natural!”… I was in over my head.

I was more than prepared when I had my baby boy but the first mistake I made was having that pump delivered to my home rather than waiting to give birth. Secondly, at the hospital I did not seek lactation services because I thought I would have this breastfeeding thing down pat, I thought, “this is natural!”. I was in over my head. I laughed every time I had to pump my breast. I did not have enough time to rest, enough time to eat, enough time to do anything, and being at home for the most part on my own made it all even harder.

Other things started to take priority over my breastfeeding. After a serious conversation with myself and with my husband we decided that if breastfeeding was not the healthiest (for me) that we would give our son formula.

I ended up throwing in the towel after a month and a half in, even though I cried because I felt like a bad mother, I had to do what was in the best interest of myself and my son.

As a mom two years into this game, my baby is okay – he was formula based, and it was for all the best. We are okay and blessed!

Hillary, C.F. Young Parent Ambassador


Breastfeeding can be full of challenges for so many new moms, it doesn’t always just happen beautifully for everyone! We recognize and honor every parent’s decision to breast/chest feed or to nourish their babies using formula. For breastfeeding support, check out our resources pages, and our Baby Café breastfeeding and postpartum support group.

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