My Dad was Violent with Me

(submitted anonymously)

I grew up in a Latin home. My family was very blessed because at 7 years old we got to come to the U.S. Here I got to live with my dad for the first time. My dad would hit my sister and me a lot it was pretty normal for us. Until he got really abusive with me. He was very strict so were rarely let out with friends or even family.

I now have my two year old boy he has so much energy and he can drive me a little crazy sometimes. Due to the fact that my dad was violent with me I realize that he transferred that bad energy to me. Sometimes I feel like I want to hit my son and it makes me angry to even think for a second of hurting the little guy I love the most. From the first moment I realized those thoughts I got some therapy. My family doesn’t believe in therapy and I’m not sure how I truly feel about it either all I know is that I’ll do anything to keep myself from ever hurting my little one. I believe that as a parent we should be the ones protecting our children. Hitting can really affect a child not only physically but mentally and most important emotionally.

I remember being a quite straight A student I ended up failing and being suspended all the time for fighting once my father starting hitting me. I also realized that I looked for someone to approve of me and the first person that did was the father of my son. My dad never gave me the talk and I believe that’s also part of the discipline that my husband and I have to give our child. We are doing a lot of things differently with my son. We take him out, we try not to scream at him so much, we talk to him to let him know that we are here to protect him and love him. We tell him we love him hug him every minute we can. We kiss him all the time. My dad never did that for me.

My husband and I want to be different, we are trying to take the good from our parents and leave the bad things behind. My dad wasn’t a great father but he is the best granddaddy. I think that the most important thing for me now is that my son grows up in a loving family where he is never scared to talk to me. I want him to be polite and humble to do what he believes in life. I want my son to have a chance to succeed. I believe the first step into doing that is through effective parenting and lots of love.