I Didn’t Think Fun Existed

(submitted anonymously)

My parents are old style. My parents being old style is not something that I like. Both my mother and father views to how modern I am are nowhere near good. I am very different from my parents. We have different views on almost everything. I want to change how my parents raised me. I do not want my child to be raised the way I was raised. It’s not because their way of raising me was bad, I turned out to be a pretty awesome, smart, young lady (thank to my parents). BUT I do not want to have my child believe and have to be the child I was in certain ways.

Here is why:
My parents made me grow up to believe that fun does not exist. The only things that exist in my life were books, school, and teachers. They nailed in me that school was important. I don’t believe there’s anything bad about it, but I want my child to be a lively child who is able to balance both school and a social life. My whole entire high school years I only attended to two parties. The only two parties I convinced my parents to let me attend. I did not last long in either of the parties. I also was picked up and dropped off from both parties.

My parents parented me with the rule that “the parent is always right” (I hated this rule, my life existed of rules!) This ruled worked this way: My parents could tell me the sky is green, I had to agree with it even if I knew the sky was blue. I could never win a battle or defend myself from any arguments. My parents would be always right. It was hard for me to voice my opinion to anything my parents would say.

My parents raised me to believe that I was less than them. I had to speak in a proper way. I could never speak to them as if I were speaking to a friend. This is because in their cultures older people were more mature and should be always treated with respect. My family speaks Spanish and in the Spanish language there is proper you and other words. If I was ever to slip up and talk to my parents without mentioning the right term, way, or phrase it would backfire me. Not talking to the in the proper way was a big disrespect. My parents were the authority. My parents made me feel as if I was less than them.

The way I grew up was because of the way my parents were taught. I can’t be mad at them for raising me the way they did. How can you be mad at someone who doesn’t know any other way? I just know that I do not believe in their ways. I want my daughter to be able to approach me with confidence, something I couldn’t. I don’t want my daughter to feel lesser than me. I want her to be a lively child. I don’t want my daughter to be stuck to books 24/7. I want her to be social, to learn how to be around others. I believe that I am modernized because I am creating a change for my child. A change that will improve both her life and mine.

1 comment

  1. I can say the same to an extent. I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or share my feelings. It was definitely a cultural thing for me too. Now, I definitely raise my daughter to feel like she has a voice but respectful at the same time.

    You’re doing an awesome job! 🙂

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